About Us

After our last game my team celebrated our victory, huddled up together and joyfully screamed soccer songs. I joined in the happiness with my teammates, but internally my world was falling apart.

I was miserable…

It was supposed to be the biggest achievement of my life but it turned out to be the saddest day of my life.

That day I realized that despite my success, all the sacrifice and hard work did not bring me the woman I desired.

From the outside I looked like a winner but the harsh truth was: I was only successful in one area as my dating life was catastrophic …

I was the epitome of incompetent with women and a hopeless virgin….

I was actually extroverted around my friends BUT whenever I talked to girls I became shy and nervous. I started freezing or stuttering.

I was unsure how to start talking with women. I also felt insecure…

I found myself sometimes standing in front of the mirror asking myself: „Why are my eyes so small? Why do I have scars??“, “Why do I look different?”

I’m mixed raced (half german, half ghana). I have small eyes & had glasses back then, I also battled with an eye disease.

One day I recall watching a YouTube video about stereotypes & races. It said the black race is the second most unattractive and somehow this stuck with me.

Whenever I talked to white German girls, I was hesitant because I felt they didn’t like me because of my race.These uncertainties and insecurities held me back.

I always expected ‘no’s from women, and blamed my looks for my lack of success.

However, insecurities weren’t the only thing which held me back. I always had excuses and was worried how others viewed me. I’d even use my success as a reason to justify my shortcomings. “At least I’m successful in my soccer career” was my mantra.

I was always trying to downplay how bad I was doing, just to protect my ego and to avoid feeling bad about myself.

I pretended to be cool and said I never compare myself to others, but I constantly did.

I was lonely and trapped. The pain became intolerable and it wouldn’t stop. I felt exhausted and drained. My projections about the future didn’t stop. The thoughts of dying alone or settling with a girl I didn’t like were exhausting.

The fear of being embarrassed and being rejected were too paralyzing…

However, I still craved having the women I always wanted in my life.

On the day we won the championship, I realized I´m not happy.

I reached a point where I desperately wanted to do SOMETHING, ANYTHING to escape this pain. I decided that I finally want to take action.

Our championship party was the perfect event to finally try…

THE DAY OF THE PARTY…

I was daydreaming about being in a relationship with a pretty girl for years.

And a few months before I got to know a girl named Laura through my social circle. I didn’t talk much with her in person, but I had the courage to text her online.

I knew she´d be at our championship party.

I was feeling sad, but I wasn’t ready to give up and decided that I will turn my most successful day into an even happier ending..

I decided I would make a move on her there and this time I would try to kiss her.

Finally, the evening arrived. The party took place in a friend’s garden which was lit up, like a scene from a movie. Laura was there, hanging out with her friends, and I noticed other guys approaching her. I was too scared to talk to her and normally I don’t drink, but that night I did, hoping it would calm me down and give me courage..

As the night went on, I saw Laura, finally without her friends. This was the chance I’ve been waiting for. It’s now or never was I convinced myself. Suddenly, my throat was hot and tight. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My heart was racing, I walked over to her with shaky legs, feeling heavier with each step.

My mind screamed at me to turn back…

But this time, I gathered all my courage and sat down next to her.

I tried to talk to her, but I was too nervous and the words didn’t come out right. I was conscious of my stuttering and the hesitant tone in my voice. I came off as weird and unsure of what to say. Somehow she didn’t leave and was polite.

As I ran out of words, a voice in my head urged me on. ‘Now or never,’ it said again. She was sitting closely, to my right so I initiated the move.

My heart was pounding like crazy, and my throat gasped for air. I turned towards her, intending to kiss her. Just as I was inches away, ready to seal the deal, she abruptly turned her head away and said, ‘Max, what are you doing?! You’re just a friend to me.'”

A few guys saw this and started laughing.

Soon everybody noticed, stared and laughed at us.. It was horrible. The rejection cut like a knife, but the laughter was even worse. This was the most embarrassing moment in my life. I felt so uncomfortable and no doubt she did as well. I just wanted to sink into the ground and disappear…

Sleeping that day was impossible. I had so many visions of how the people would react when I’d see them again. I thought my life would just get worse after the embarrassing rejection.

However a few days went by and I actually slowly realized that the rejection was the best thing that could have happened to me. I was finally free. I had nothing to fear and worry about anymore.

I was feeling all this pain for so long, just to realize that I could have escaped much earlier from my self-imposed prison

One week later I picked myself up and approached a girl on the street. Even though she rejected me, this time it didn’t hurt as much…

I then started talking to girls more and more. I even started to analyze my interactions. The Women I desired started to like me. I realized I can actually learn this and improve.

And that’s how my dating journey started….